A Knot

I've got a knot tied in my heart about swearing again tonight.

Right now.

There are two kinds of people in my life: The unbearable goodie goodie who never swears and the cool-type who do it because it's cool (and despite all claims to the contrary, there isn't any other reason.)

And why did you of all people have to conform to that silly paradigm? It's like some lame disease! Why can't people just not say those words?

No one gets out. No one isn't one of those two.

It ties my heart in a knot and I don't know what that feeling is called, but it's unpleasant like not being able to breathe is unlpeasant.

It's painful like your dad not showing up when he promised he would.

It's frustrating like your boss firing you as a scapegoat for things you just learned about the day before.

-calvin

Free Verse

Here's the bottom line. I could deal with being single if I had a crush on /someone/. But I don't. No one. I'm not into anybody. So I'm not into anything. Everything's hollow. Giving is unrewarding. Eating never satisfies. I dread sleeping because it means I failed another day, having found nothing to live for, but no reason to try to get away.

I have nothing anymore. You were everything and that's gone. You're not, but my investment is. My affection is. So my purpose is. We were not built to be alone. Even if we are single. We were designed to love, and I no longer do.

And so I am useless. Pointless. A machine. A series of input and output. And a constant disappointment to everyone around me.

And a pain.

And so I am become what I was.

No one minds.

After everything, me here now doesn't make a lick of difference.

Missing me isn't the same as loving me. Missing me isn't the same as caring about me. Missing me isn't noticing me.

People would miss me.

But they don't care that they have me now.

Hey!

I'm going to redo this soon.  To make it look like my website.

Also, I have a website.  Btw.

Saturday Night Live

Last line. Wait for it.

I Figured Out Why ...

I figured out why we don't use watermelons for jack-o-lanterns.

Maybe it's the sugar, but man!, when watermelons rot, they reek!


Just thought I'd warn you.

I Wonder Why it's Always Pumpkins

I feel like other fruit or vegetable rinds would make excellent jack-o-lanterns, now that we only keep 'em around for a week or so.

For example, the summerfruit watermelon. I think next year, for my late-June birthday, we'll have a watermelon eating contest, but you'll have to eat what you can in teams of 4 with spoons out of a rind. Then we'll carve 'em afterwards!

'Kay bye.

My Longboards

I like longboards. Here are photos of the ones I made.

The Red Rocket
I made this one before my mission.  It was a way to get to and from work a couple blocks away, mostly.  I like it a lot.

It's 8-ply, 2 1/2 or 3 ft. long, and the grip tape is glow-in-the-dark!  I need to touch it up a bit, but it rides perfectly.  The trucks (Randal 180s), wheels (Sector 9, 76 mm, 78a), and bearings (Reds) are about 8 years old or something, and I love 'em.

My New One
So, I don't have a catchy name for it or anything.  I just call it my new one.  I've had the wood for it for ages, but was never quite sure what I wanted to do with it.  I bought it from the wood shop at Provo High one year through Corey Rowley.  This is what I ended up doing.

This one's 12-ply, which is important, because it's something like 4'8'' long, which may be nearly double the length of the Red Rocket.  I'm not sure, though, 'cause I've never measured them.

Josie kindly purchased the trucks for me.  They're interesting; they've got a spring rather than a rubber bushing.  I love the way they handle, actually.  There's something that feels surfy to me.  It's more what I think surfing might be like than other trucks I've used.  The wheels are Orangatang In Heats (75mm/86a).  They're grippier 'cause the corners hard, rather than rounded.  I like the way they look, too.  Always a plus.

I like making longboards.  A lot.  If only they weren't so dang expensive to outfit with trucks and wheels, y'know?  I'd sell 'em.

I should make some to sell.  Hmm...

My Favorite Comedian: Demetri Martin

Here's a drawing of his:

Demetri Martin on WhoSay

And here's a video:

Colbert on Mormons

I like his coverage of this:

London's Trouble

View Woolwich Looting in a larger map

The above map shows the locations of the video below on the left (taken 8 August 2011; the language of the video may be offensive to some viewers), and the flat I lived in when I first got to England as a missionary serving in the Welling Ward on the right. Just up the street from the video's setting (in the direction the police are retreating toward) is the Sainsbury's where I did my shopping nearly every week for the four-and-a-half months I was serving there. Next door to that is the building that Jing, my first Chinese investigator lived in.

The Sky news report below was filmed on Lavender Hill, which is right by the Clapham Junction railways station (the busiest in the UK, I believe). I remember, just north of what the video shows, Elder Müller (from Switzerland) and I looked for a former investigator. We also taught a man from Ghana and his family. Jim was his name, if my memory serves me. It's scary stuff, y'know?

The reason I'm posting all this, I guess, is that my mission is kind of a big deal for me. The things happening in London are really scary for me, because I know the place, and I know people who live there.

... Anyway, there's that.
I hope it's over soon.

Bones, Mythbusters, Pokémon Diamond

So, there are really only three ways I've been wasting my time these days. Having essentially completed the longboard I was making, I found myself in an interesting place I call "between projects".

Pastime 1: To fill the void, I've caught up on all the episodes of Bones, a great series my family found while I was on a mission. I'd watched seasons 1-5 on Netflix since getting back, but season 6 is a bit harder to find.

Pastime 2: Recently there must've been some kind of marathon for Mythbusters, a favorite show of mine for years now. Mythbusters is right up my alley; science-y, inquisitive, and entertaining. So, after this marathon or whatever, there are, like, 15 or so episodes recorded. My dad doesn't like 'em taking up space, so I need to watch 'em and delete 'em. Each episode is 1 hr. long and I often end up restarting for siblings who want to see it. It's fun.

Pastime 3: Just recently Ashton showed me his latest Nintendo DS acquisition, Pokémon Diamond. Honestly, I don't think there has been a funner, more addicting series of games ever. I still love 'em. In fact, I'm getting Platinum, which is a version compatible with Diamond, so I can stop hijacking Ashton's game. It really is very fun.

That's a rundown of what I'm doing from day to day at the moment. Hopefully I'll be able to add "going to work", "drumming", "making iPod apps with Sean", and maybe even "working out" to this kind of list in the future. Why not today, eh? Monday's a good day for goals, yeah?

My New Longboard

Hey, so I've been making my new longboard. I've had the wood since the end of my junior year of high school, when I bought a 5x1' plank of 12-ply from Corey, who was taking a woods class. Anyway, Josie bought me some new trucks, which don't fit with my old board for a few reasons (I'm sure I'll post photos'n'such of my old board some day), so I decided to finally get on the stick and make a new board. I don't have photos of the process, but I got something better. An awesome Photoshop mock-up of the design of it. Here you go (and thanks to Sean for it, by the way; He's the Photoshop virtuoso who did it in, like, 5 min.):

Our President

Barack Hussein Obama II was elected and sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America just before I left as a missionary. I honestly would have voted for him, had I remembered to register to vote.

But that's now why I'm posting. I'm posting because he's a funny guy:



'Kay bye.

O Brother

So, one time, I was up 'til about 7.00 in the morning with Sean playing the Halo: Reach campaign. Then I slept from then 'til 1.00 pm-ish.

I don't recommend it to anyone, but it's a memory. A good one.

As a side-note, when I got back (from my mission, that is) I was blown away by how good at this game and others my little brother, Ashton is. He's 10, almost, and rocks the house for a kid his age. It's actually pretty cool.

The talents of Ashton are many. Here's a list:

• He's got a memory like a tape recorder; whatever you say, he'll be able to repeat it, and after seeing a movie once, he'll remember how all of the best lines went.
• He's learning to play the piano, and he's quite good.
• He's doing ballroom dance at his elementary school. He loves it!
• He could talk up a storm about any U.S. figher plane from WWI to present.

I will not pretend this list is comprehensive.

Anyway, my brothers are cool.

There that is.

I've Recently Returned

So I just got back from a mission. For all those just dieing to know just what returned missionaries like me get up to, I've begun writing about it. Aren't you excited!? Well, fine, you don't have to be.

I'll probably just post a bunch of lists, then stop posting when it's lost its novelty appeal.

Anyway. That's all for now.

Oh, j.k. and P.S. I've imported all the old posts from my last blog (see the original at ithinkpoorly.blogspot.com), mostly so that this blog looks legit. :~)

Addresses

Here are my addresses.

MTC:

Elder Calvin Moisés Juárez
England London South Mission
Provo Missionary Training Center
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604

London:

Elder Calvin Moisés Juárez
England London South Mission
The London Temple
West Park Road
Newchapel, Surrey
England RH7 6NB

2 Weeks

Yesterday was the 2-week-preversary of the MTC for me. "I'll be outta here in 14 days," I kept thinking to myself. Well, actually, I was thinking "fortnight", but I digress. There's so much I wanted to do, but I know I'll forget most of it, or else be too Spirit-minded to really enjoy a lot of it. I wanted to start a band, go longboarding, catch a concert, commit "Nothing Better" by the Postal Service to memory, and finish the world tour on Rock Band.

Some things I think may have been good for me are:
1. A real date (number 5, it would be, for those of you keeping track at home). I'm not into dating 'cause I'm scared; not entirely of being rejected, more of her accepting and then my having to actually go through with it. I'mso terrible when it comes to people.
2. Shaved more (current count is 7, I think), although I haven't had to, which rocks!
3. A kiss. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my VL status, I just wonder what all the hype is about.

As I look back on the month since I got my call, I notice I've become much more family-concious. I find that the more closely I follow the commandments of the Lord, the more aware I am of my siblings. I have been trying not to forget about my siblings. I try to spend time with each and all of them; I don't want to leave thinking what I did when Sean left, "I missed it."

Sibs and padres, I love you guys.

New Management

As of right now, Both Olivia and Josie have been invited to this blog. Hopefully, one of them will have time to type in my letters home when I write.

Also, I'll post my MTC address sometime soon.

Best. Robot. Ever.

I want one of these:

Things that are Green

Grass
Some molds
The ooze that turned four turtles into teenagers, mutants, and ninjas
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Pistachio pudding
Really old vanilla pudding
Maya's favorite color
Some mosses
My old favorite color
Trees
The A button on XBox controllers
My Command-Z shirt
Olivia's favorite color
The original Odwalla (arguably)
Avocados, on the inside
Watermelons, on the outside
Some grapes
Oscar the Grouch
The green monster of envy
Other green monsters (if you know what I mean)
Limes
One side of most of Mr. Rubik's famous cubes
The A button on Gamecube controllers
Josie*
My favorite socks
The color between yellow and blue on a color wheel
One of three colors of light
Me, in a couple months
Every missionary, at some point
Peas

*Feel better soon! That's a "norder".